That pair of jeans you keep in the back of your closet. The ones you wore confidently as a thinner version of yourself. Jeans that have been stuffed into a storage box for ten years. You hold onto them waiting for the skinny you to come back. You know you still have them. I did until today. Today marked the end of “someday they’ll fit again.”

I choose not to live that way. I love my body today, not what it was ten years ago. Ten years ago I was at the height of my eating disorder. Anorexia had it’s hold on me. I subsisted on slim fast shakes, power bars, coffee, vodka sodas and light beer. I’d skip dinner to save my calories for the alcohol. That’s how I fit into those size 4 jeans. By not eating.

Today I eat to nourish my body. No more depriving to fit into a skewed vision of myself. My body is not a size 4. And I’m embracing that. Everyday I repeat the mantra “My body is healthy. I love my body right now.” The simplicity of this statement helps me. By making it a daily mantra I’m reminded of the person I am right now, keeping me in the present.

What is it that we’re truly holding onto by saving those jeans for someday? I say it’s false information about ourselves. Not remembering what we sacrificed to fit into a smaller pant size. I know what healthy feels like now and I’m able to distinguish between my twenty year old self and today. There is an episode of Sex and the City where Miranda fits back into her skinny jeans. She was cheered for and championed for the great accomplishment. But in reality the show explains the only reason she lost the weight was due to not having enough time to eat proper meals.

How to Let Go of the Skinny Jeans

1. Live in the present. Keeping clothes from years before holds us back from living now and moving our lives forward.

2. Psychology studies show that focusing on our appearance consumes valuable cognitive resources, impairing our ability to perform complex mental tasks. Thinking about someday fitting into our too-small clothes steals brain power away from other tasks.

3. Love your NOW body. Say it. “I love my body right now!”

4. Release the bad energy. Keeping my skinny jeans was a constant reminder of my eating disorder and the destructive behavior. They were tainted with the memory of my disease. You may have similar negative feelings associated with your old clothes. Letting go of the clothes aids in releasing the negativity.

5. Are you feeling unattractive? Take a photo and send it to your friends. Better yet, post it up on Instagram. All the gorgeous compliments will come rolling in and you’ll feel fabulous!

Let’s love ourselves right now. Not after we loose 5 pounds.
Now go donate those clothes!


Mirror Mirror Off the Wall: How I Learned to Love My Body by Not Looking at It for a Year by Kjerstin Gruys


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